Remote possibilities

They say the person with the most toys wins, but maybe you can get points for the biggest toy on the block.

British engineer Dr James Brighton has produced what could be the most sought after toy of the year.

But in becoming a toymaker, the good doctor has sneered at the idea of miniature cars, bypassed the display of carefully stacked scale models and gone straight for the giant size.

The highly respected purveyor of academe at Britain’s Cranfield University has developed a remote control Hummer H3.

Apparently the job took about a month to complete and probably had Dr Brighton topping the popularity polls of all those engineering students who spend years of study in absolute certainty that what the world needs is a better gizmo.

Because as far as gizmos go — and ones like this go very far indeed — they’d say you really can’t beat the idea of a remote controlled version of one of the world’s biggest private vehicles.

Sure, various armies have remote controlled vehicles, but they’re used for very serious purposes indeed. And nobody’s allowed to take them home for the weekend and have a bit of backyard fun at the Sunday barbie. Or at least, certainly not the ones we’ve been invited to. Yes, that was a hint, in case anybody at Defence Central who’s reading this has the keys to that remote controlled armoured tank we keep hearing about.

But back to the Hummer, which opens up a whole world of possibilities for Christmas and birthday gifts —- although also a huge world of problems with wrapping paper and bows.

Don’t just imagine this is for running around the backyard during the barbie. For a start, it won’t fit. A nanosecond’s pressure on the remote control toggle will have it crashing over the fence and forging a new path through the neighbour’s begonias. Which could mean a very interesting explanation to your insurance company.

But where your usual remote controlled car is stalled by a couple of dust bunnies on the hallway carpet, this is a toy that can tackle really tough terrain.

Dr Brighton says it can climb a four metre vertical wall, traverse a 40 degree side slope and ford through 60cm of water. He doesn’t say why you’d want it to do any of those things, but people with the word ‘Dr’ in front of their names are much smarter than you and me, so there must be a reason.

But perhaps the Doc hasn’t properly researched the abilities of this vehicle.

Your blogger at one stage supported her uni studies by lounging around a shopping centre computer store, purporting to serve computers to the public.

Business was slow, the boss was often absent and even playing with the latest techno-gizmodo can pall after seven straight hours —- unless you’re a teenager, perhaps.

The solution was to send for food by clipping an order and some money to the aerial of one of the remote control cars in the store and sending it through the shopping centre. Extra points for startling little old ladies along the way.

Now with this Hummer, you can leapfrog modest goals like getting a bag of biscuits or a box of takeway pad thai in the tray of a scale model ute.

The Hummer could thunder over to your local supermarket and come back with a month’s worth of groceries. Then it could take itself off to the car wash and self bathe. Hitch a brace of mowers to the tailgate and have it do wheelies on the lawn while you sit with your feet up on the verandah railing. The possibilities are as huge as … erm, an H3 Hummer really.

Dr Brighton’s toy might be able to scale walls, but has it brought him any Thai takeaway?