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James Stanford
Contributing Journalist
9 Sep 2006
6 min read

Nothing stands out more than a Hummer — except a Hummer that has been stretched to measure 11m from nose to tail.

The four-wheel-drive mud-plugger has been transformed into a luxurious party truck that is more bold than beautiful at twice the length of a standard Hummer.

Operated by Melbourne-based Krystal Limousines, it will ferry the rich, the famous and anyone else chasing a slice of Hollywood glitz.

So CARSguide convinced its owners to take the chrome-encrusted cruiser to Bungaree, a small town 10km east of Ballarat to test its wow factor.

We have tested a lot of cars through the years, but nothing causes as much of a fuss as the Krystal Hummer.

Drivers slam on brakes, passengers hang out of car windows with camera phones and pedestrians stare with wide eyes and open mouths.

It's safe to say Bungaree has seen nothing like it.

First stop is Bungaree Primary School.

We want to ask the kids what they think of the super Hummer and see if we can fit an entire class in the back.

There is enough space to fit half the school in the limo at once, comfortably.

Sure, the school population is on the small side at 32, but that's still a good effort.

On the road, the super-sized Hummer can legally carry 14 adults and one driver, all with seatbelts, on soft leather seats.

It could carry more, but considerable space is taken up by the two bars, complete with ice buckets full of drinks, including champagne magnums.

There are 14 cupholders, because, for some reason, limo passengers seem quite concerned about staying hydrated.

The interior has all the subtlety of a Las Vegas casino. Strobe lights flicker below the seat cushions. Neon strips on the bar and the roof pulse in different colours.

More than 2000 tiny fibre-optic lights in the roof flash in different colours in tune to music that rocks the interior with the firepower of 12 speakers and three thundering subwoofers.

The windows are extra thick and dark so you can party in private, but occupants can see everything happening outside.

If they tire of watching accidents being caused by goggle-eyed motorists, they can watch one of three video screens in the huge cabin.

Passengers in the back of the truck can even use a wall-mounted phone to talk to the driver — the Hummer is that big.

The Krystal Hummer, which weighs about 4500kg, draws a crowd as it sits outside the Bungaree school.

"You couldn't do circle work in that, could you?" jokes one onlooker.

The kids, who are further dwarfed by the imposing machine, are impressed.

"I reckon that if I had a chance to buy that or a house, I'd buy that," 11-year-old Tyler says.

Ten-year-old Zac justifies the purchase of such a car by suggesting an owner could save on holiday costs.

"You wouldn't have to go to a five-star hotel. It has a mini-bar and the stereo is so loud."

The kids aren't allowed any champagne, but its very presence impresses one of the pupils.

"I liked the mini-bar and the alcohol," says an eight-year-old girl.

The most popular description of the Krystal Hummer is "awesome" and the "the coolest car in the world".

Asked which celebrities would ride in a stretched Hummer, the kids suggest Britney Spears, Kylie Minogue and Madonna, before a young boy pipes up:

"I reckon Tom Cruise would have one because he's crazy."

Well, the slightly eccentric are known for their love of stretched Hummers — the Osbourne family get about in one.

Krystal Limousines expects some celebrity bookings, but also offers the Hummer for debutante balls, graduations, weddings, parties — pretty much anything.

Pricing depends on how long you need it and where you go, but a full load of passengers could pay about $50 each for an hour with a reduced hourly rate after that.

It's not cheap, but the company has already had several wedding bookings for couples keen on a bit of Las Vegas glamour.

The special Hummer is an expensive machine and a fair chunk of the $300,000 it owes its owners was spent on shipping.

The Melbourne-based partner of Krystal Limousines, Steve Nogas, bought a standard Hummer H2 SUT in the United States and shipped it back to Australia.

He had it converted from left-hand drive to right-hand drive then shipped it back to California so it could be stretched by Krystal Enterprises, a big operator that customises several Hummer limos every week.

The car was then brought back to Australia.

The process was so convoluted because red tape meant the car had to be imported as a road-legal machine.

The Hummer is relatively easy to stretch because it has a separate ladder frame.

The drive-shaft is made up of five sections and the Krystal Hummer retains its fully functioning 4WD system, even if it isn't so good for off-road work any more.

It has a heavy-duty suspension and brakes, but runs a standard 6.0-litre V8 and five-speed automatic.

The owners are yet to measure the custom Hummer's fuel economy, perhaps out of sheer terror.

We cruise up to the Bungaree general store, where the Hummer's arrival interrupts Tilly the Pug's blissful slumber.

The dog poses for a photo in front of the Hummer that dwarfs her owner's shop.

It seems everyone wants to be photographed in front of the gleaming limo — though we expect Tilly was doing it only because of the food we promised.

Nogas is amazed by the number of photos that have already been taken of his 11m baby.

"The reaction is incredible. The cameras started clicking the first time we took it out," he says.

Krystal Limousines partner Perry Webb agrees, noting "a lot of people do a double take when the huge Hummer rolls past".

"People see it and rub their eyes and look again. You can see them thinking, 'Is that what I think it is?'

LONG HISTORY OF CONVERSIONS

PEOPLE have been stretching cars for a long time.

Almost as soon as cars were created, they were turned into long limos.

Stretched open-top machines appeared in Australia as early as 1918, when this machine was snapped on King William St in Adelaide.

Luxury sedans such as the Ford LTD, Lincoln Town Car and Chrysler 300C are popular models for modern conversions, but keep your eyes peeled for rarer lengthened cars.

Stretched versions of two-stroke Trabants can be spotted in the Czech Republic, lengthened Ladas have been seen in Russia and an Australian has even stretched a 1970s Beetle to 9m — we don't know why.

Stretch limos are everywhere in the United States and some have rear-mounted spa baths.

One American, with far too much cash, has even stretched a Lamborghini Diablo — oh, the humanity.

James Stanford
Contributing Journalist
James Stanford is a former CarsGuide contributor via News Corp Australia. He has decades of experience as an automotive expert, and now acts as a senior automotive PR operative.
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