Articles by Marcus Craft

The driver-assist tech in a lot of new vehicles has the potential to be intrusive and annoying – from traffic sign recognition that’s woefully incorrect, to adaptive/active cruise control that is preemptive and too abrupt, through to stop-start functions that should be taken out the back and disposed of.

Let's be honest, we’ve all dreamt of ditching our everyday jobs, throwing off the shackles of modern-day domesticity and doing a road trip around Australia.

The Ford Everest Tremor is the latest mildly upgraded 4WD to enter the market. While the Ranger Tremor is a limited-edition variant, the Everest Tremor is here to stay.It has a 3.0-litre turbo-diesel V6, longer coil springs, Bilstein dampers and General Grabber AT3 all-terrain tyres.It also gets 'Rock Crawl' mode, steel bash plates, side steps and Tremor-specific styling and branding.

Everyone loves a good joke and car enthusiasts are no different because they all love funny car jokes.You name it and chances are there’s a car joke about it: driving jokes, car jokes for kids, car dad jokes, car jokes for adults, electric car jokes, car mechanic jokes, race car jokes, as well as car insurance jokes and car salesman jokes.So, here’s our exhaustive (exhausting?) line-up of jokes about cars.Q: Why was the car always tired?A: It never took any brakes.Q: What kind of car does Yoda drive?A: A Toy-yoda.Q: Why should you always carry peanut butter in your car?A: In case there’s a traffic jam.Q: Why did the man throw his spare tyre into the woods when he got lost?A: Where there’s a wheel, there’s a way.Q: What did you do with all those old car batteries?A: I gave them away, free of charge.Q: Why does it cost so much to put air in a tyre?A: Inflation.A jumper cable walks into a bar and the bartender says, “I’ll serve you but you’d better not start anything.”My wife asked me if I could go wash the car with our son. I told her a hose and sponge would be more efficient.Q: What did the car say to the stop light?A: You’ve changed, man!My wife gave birth to our son in the car on our way to the hospital. We named him Carson.I just got nine out of 10 on my driver’s test. The last guy was able to get out of the way.Q: What do you need to be able to drive in the outback?A: You need to show koala-fications.The worst thing about reverse parking is witnesses.Q: What kind of cars do people in Norway drive?A: Fjords.Q: What’s the difference between a Land Rover and a golf ball?A: You can drive a golf ball more than 100 metres.New Teslas don’t have that familiar new car smell – they have an Elon Musk.So, 95 per cent of the EVs sold in Australia are still on the road today. The rest were able to be driven home.Do people in EVs listen to AC/DC or something current?I walked into an EV dealership and asked them how much they charge.Q: Did you hear about the new EV from Germany?A: It’s a Volts-wagen.“Who won the 1975 Formula 1 World Championship?“Lauda.”“WHO WON THE 1975 WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP?!”Q: What do strippers and the best F1 drivers have in common?A: They start in pole position.Q: How do you make a million dollars racing at Bathurst?A: Start with two million dollars!Q: What do drivers wear under their fire-retardant race suits?A: Speedos.If you can’t fix something on your race car with a hammer, then it’s an electrical problem.Anyone want to buy Doc Brown’s DeLorean? He only drives it from time to time.I went to my local car dealership and was looking at a potential buy when a salesman approached me.I was interested in if the interior was roomy enough to fit my family, dog and camping gear.I said: “Cargo space?”He said: “No, car go on road.”I visited a car dealership last week to check out the Toyota LandCruiser 300 Series Sahara. I'm now just waiting to be paid…. so I can catch an Uber and go look at it again.What happened to the car dealership when it ran out of Kias?It sells Nokias now.A man walks into a Lada dealership and says "I'd like a hubcap for my Lada”.The dealer says: “That sounds like a fair swap.”I was in a lot of pain after I injured my neck in a car accident last year.Now I can look back and laugh.When I wrecked my last car, I solved the mystery of whether or not a Mercedes bends.When I regained consciousness after a car crash, the doctors tried to tell me I was actually a Swedish guy who had amnesia.I said: “Ha! I’m not falling for that one – I wasn't Bjorn yesterday!”Q: Did you hear about the car crash in Moscow?A: It turns out the guy was Russian to work.Q: What do you call it when a dinosaur gets into a car crash?A: Tyrannosaurus wrecks.A lot of mechanics reckon the best way to fix any car is to sort out the loose nut on the driver’s seat.Q: Did you hear about the mechanic who was addicted to drinking brake fluid?A: She said she could stop any time she wanted to.A mechanic mate of mine reckons a good way to get rid of annoying customers is tell them to go to the nearest Supercheap Auto or Autobarn and ask for a long wait.Q: What did the disgruntled customer say to the mechanic?A: “You auto know better!”Mechanic: “When were your tyres last rotated?”Me: “On the way here, mate.”Q: What do hospital gowns and car insurance policies have in common?A: You’re usually not as covered as you think you are.Q: What’s the difference between a new puppy and a car insurance company when you make a claim?A: The puppy stops whining after a week or two.A bloke was talking to a police officer after a car accident and explaining why he didn’t have car insurance.“There are worse things in life than pranging your car,” the bloke said.“Oh, yeah – what?” the police officer said.To which the bloke replied: “Talking to an insurance company sales rep.”A drunk bloke stumbles into a hotel where a car insurance convention is being held and yells, "All insurance agents are crooks, and if anyone doesn’t like it, come up and do something about it."A man immediately runs up to the drunk and says, "You take that back!"The drunk replies, "Why, are you an agent?""No," the man says, “I'm a crook.”A car insurance sales rep dad was teaching his daughter to drive when the car’s brakes suddenly failed while going down a steep hill.The daughter screamed: “I can’t stop!" What should I do?"The car insurance sales rep dad said: “Try to hit something cheap!”

The Toyota Tundra is the latest in a long line of full-size American pick-ups to arrive on our shores. The left-hand-drive Tundra is converted to right-hand drive by Walkinshaw in Australia and, on paper, this big ute is a well-engineered, well-equipped and purpose-built towing and touring machine. But the Tundra has a $156,000-plus price-tag. Is the Toyota badge enough to justify this much money? 

Chinese utes have been making substantial in-roads into the Australian market over recent years.

Details have been hinted at, and speculated about, and shadowy arty teasers have further whet the appetite of Amarok fans everywhere but still information about the upcoming Walkinshaw VW Amarok remains scant.

When you’re on a vehicle-based camping trip, auxiliary power is crucial. A dual battery system – two separate batteries working in conjunction with each other but for different purposes – ensures your vehicle has start-up power and your campsite has consistent reliable power, sourced from the vehicle.A second battery, as part of a correctly wired and properly functioning system, will make sure you're able to start up your vehicle with your original battery and, using your second battery, you’ll also be able to optimise available power at camp and minimise any risk of running out of power while using your fridge, lights and any other camp accessories.To understand what a dual battery setup is and to find out which is the best system for your Toyota Landcruiser, Ford Ranger, VW Amarok, Isuzu D-Max or MU-X, Mitsubishi Triton, or just about anything, read on.A dual battery simply describes a battery system with a second or auxiliary battery that has been installed in addition to the vehicle’s original factory-fitted battery. The second battery is usually placed in a dedicated space on a purpose-built tray in a vehicle’s engine bay, cabin, rear-most load space, or in the tray (if the vehicle is a ute).Well, that depends on the system you’re having installed and whether you’re installing the set-up yourself (which is not recommended unless you’re very handy with the tools), or how much the mob doing the work for you charges for the dual battery system itself and the labour to fit it to your vehicle.Often it’s smarter to have a professional do it because if anything is incorrectly wired there's an increased risk of an electrical fire in the vehicle.As a guideline, expect to pay upwards of $2500 for the whole kit and caboodle to be fitted – that price includes approximately $1700 for the kit itself and anywhere up to $900 or more for 'Charge to fit product to vehicle' and any 'additional fit charge'.The aim of the extra power supply is to provide your campsite with readily available and consistent power, while not draining your main battery. Usually, a dual battery setup for a fridge prompts a 4WD tourer’s first foray into the realm of auxiliary power because keeping your food (and beers!) cold in a portable fridge is an integral factor in any happy trip away.A dual battery setup involves more than just installing a second battery, though. The two batteries – your vehicle’s starting battery and your auxiliary battery – are two separate, isolated systems.Your vehicle’s battery and alternator (the latter charging both batteries) are responsible for powering all vehicle-based gear while the engine is running; your second battery is responsible for powering all other camp-based gear, such as your 12V portable fridge, lights, laptops, inverters etc, when you are stopped and the ignition is turned off.A real-world dual battery setup includes a dual battery isolator, a dual battery monitor, all the necessary wiring and more. A dual battery isolator ensures that the two batteries are charged in order to keep the two power supplies topped up and working.A dual battery monitor, which allows the user to monitor voltage levels on both batteries just by checking an in-cabin read-out, is also key to maintaining convenient awareness and electronic control over the dual battery system at all times.There are plenty of dual battery setups available – including the Redarc dual battery system – and other reputable Aussie companies, such as Ironman 4x4, ARB and Projecta, are known for making top-quality electrical systems and battery-related products.Please note: An OME twin start-up battery setup – in which both batteries are intended as start-up batteries only – is not a dual-battery system, but the wiring can be sorted out to suit that system.This may be best left to the professionals but if you’re decent with the tools and know your way around a vehicle – and can get your head around a dual battery wiring diagram – then by all means give a dual battery installation a whirl.First, you need space enough for dual battery kit – either in your engine bay, in the cabin of your vehicle or in the tray (if you have a ute).A large deep-cycle battery needs a strong support and that’s usually in the form of a 3.0mm powder-coated steel tray on which the second battery will sit.Note: If your dual battery is positioned in a tub or load space, it can be fitted into a laser-cut, folded and welded dual battery box.That tray should be built to absorb hard-core off-roading punishment in order to protect the battery. If you’ve ever peeked under the bonnet of an outback touring Hilux and had a gander at its dual battery tray, or check out a Ford Ranger dual battery, you’ll have the right idea.Make sure you position your second battery well away from any heat sources, e.g. engine components that will become hot during long-distance trips etc.As for wiring and switchgear, in simple terms, a manual four-way switching approach relies on the user to dictate the battery system’s operational status: either its duty is to start the vehicle or to maintain power to the campsite. This system’s switch can be moved to a position where both batteries are being charged.Automatic solenoid switching – by way of a solenoid attached to your off-roader’s ignition wiring – will ensure the auxiliary battery is disconnected from the main battery when you turn off the vehicle’s engine and, when engine is switched back on, it is reconnected to the engine and recharged.Check at Aussie companies, such as Ironman 4x4, ARB, Redarc, Piranha and the like, for the best electrical system support set-ups around. You can buy the gear from them and do the work yourself or have them install it for you.For off-road touring, camping and caravanning, deep-cycle batteries are your best bet. There are several types of deep cycle batteries but AGM (Absorbed Glass Mat) examples are considered the best and most versatile for fitment and use in off-roaders.Your choice of the best options for different scenarios/vehicle types hinges on how much power you will need to draw on at your campsite.Tourers nowadays often opt for a combination of auxiliary battery power and the use of solar panels or mats, rather than only relying on onboard batteries.Solar panels or flexible mats provide a great source of auxiliary power, but alone are no substitute for a comprehensive top-quality dual battery kit – all of these bits of equipment should be considered as parts of the power-supply puzzle and used in conjunction with each other.Also, check out a portable power pack as a handy power source, an adjunct to your main power supplies.So, how much will a dual battery setup cost? A deep-cycle battery alone can cost from $216 (for a 32AH 12V AGM deep cycle battery); and a dual-battery system is likely to set you back at least $900 (fitted) or more, depending on parts requested/used, wiring complexity, labour costs etc.Be aware that the second battery, its tray – no matter how robust it is – and the battery’s wiring and related electrical system may suffer damage due to engine bay heat, extreme temperatures, the violent repeated vibrations of outback corrugations, water, dirt or mud ingress and more.The rough nature of off-roading dictates that you should spend as much as your budget allows on the best quality gear you can find in order to enjoy your bush and beach adventures without fear of power failure.The best dual battery system for your 4x4 will be the one that suits your vehicle and your intended purpose. To find top-quality dual battery kits, visit one of Australia’s great aftermarket stores or stockists including, but not limited to, Ironman 4x4, TJM, ARB, Redarc and Piranha.

There are off-road vehicles on our roads loaded with 4WD accessories but the reality is that those vehicles may never be driven on terrain any more challenging than the slightly wet grassy carpark at the local soccer field.

Here's our wishlist for the next-generation Nissan Navara