BMW's road-ready M3 ute

That white ute, built on a 3-Series platform, is real. Yes, it's a concept but it's also a fully-functional car. It's also not the only BMW ute. Yes, Australian golfer Stuart Appleby has one - a 2000 E39 M5 beheaded and bedded in 2008 by Deniliquin-based custom shop Southern Rod - but BMW has done the deed before.

It chopped a sad E30 M3 of 1986 to become a work car that could haul parts around the factory. It's now even sadder and sits in a corner of a BMW warehouse.

BMW last week put its tongue in its cheek with the announcement the M3 ute would become the fourth body variant of the M3 family. "Under the strictest secrecy, the world's first high-performance pickup (really?) has been created at the BMW M GmbH development centre," BMW's April 1 release states.

"The sportiest example by far in this vehicle category (really? HSV anyone?), the BMW M3 Pickup will fire the imaginations of all motorists with a deep appreciation of top performance matched by a keen practical bent. "309kW/420hp under the bonnet and a rear-axle load capacity of up to 450 kilos take the hallmark BMW M relationship between race-oriented driving pleasure and everyday utility to an entirely new level.

"This unique vehicle has already completed extensive test and set-up drives on the Nurburgring's Nordschleife in advance of its global unveiling on April 1, 2011." It adds that the BMW M3 Pickup is "the first BMW M3 variant in the 25-year-plus history of this model range to come with a trailer tow hitch".

"Notwithstanding these unquestionable stand-out qualities, the BMW M3 Pickup will not be heading for the golf course or series development, but will retain its status as an exclusive one-off," the press release says as reality sets in.

"It is earmarked for use as a workshop transport vehicle for BMW M GmbH. With this in mind, the BMW M3 Pickup - unlike a similar predecessor built back in the 1980s - has gone through the requisite procedures to earn its road certification, which makes it officially a truck - but one that puts a whole new spin on the meaning of the word."