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As surely as night follows day, when there's a new Kia in a new segment, we're told we probably won't be getting it. Those lucky Europeans and then some months (this time years, as it turns out) later, we find out that actually we are getting it.
Not because Kia's Australian arm doesn't want the peculiarly named Stonic - we're still waiting for the reportedly excellent e-Niro. But when that new car is an SUV, even a tiny one, Kia can't make them fast enough.
However, as m'colleague Tom White reported in December, COVID stepped in. We're now in the strange position where due to a global pandemic and resulting economic calamity, a car Kia Australia thought it had to forego in return for the excellent Seltos, has in fact arrived to complete the range.
Fresh from the factory, my family scored a top-of-the-range GT-Line for a week to see what it's like in the urban rumble.
Holden wasn't the first manufacturer to find itself bereft of a big SUV when the fuse was lit by BMW and Mercedes as the last millennium came to a close. Ford responded with the Territory while Holden jacked-up a V8 Commodore and slapped the Adventra badge on it. Sadly, it didn't work, and so the Captiva was the next best option, procured from what was then called Daewoo.
As a result of that that little blip on the economic radar, the GFC, and an on-going re-organisation of General Motors, the Korean-built Captiva has lasted rather longer than anyone expected.
It first launched with two bodystyles, but is now down to one, the bigger and more practical seven seat body shell.
Once over the little thrill of driving a car we weren't supposed to get (okay, it wasn't that thrilling), a few things became clear. You can now buy a compact SUV with a good long warranty, a bit of Kia flair and a roomy cabin, at least for its size.
It drives really well even if the transmission was a bit reluctant to do what I wanted. It's easy to park and will live very happily in the city while carrying reasonable numbers of people and their things. It may not be as bang up to date as some of its competitors, and the GT-Line's value is borderline, but it delivers plenty in its small package to a rapacious SUV market.
The Captiva is very, very long in the tooth and is heading towards retirement some time in the next twelve months. Before then, it's a lot of car for the money, particularly the seven seat LS. It's not fast, flash or futuristic but it will do the job and with all of the early problems sorted, will probably do it for quite some time.
The Captiva's low scores are mostly to do with the car just being old and feeling it, with dodgier plastics, slightly undercooked ride and handling and a lack of engine and safety tech. It doesn't mean it's a terrible car, because it isn't and Holden papers up the cracks with a low starting price and good after-sales.
The Stonic clearly looks like it is related to the Rio, but also bears a strong resemblance to the Seltos. Underneath is the very familiar small hatch Rio but Kia says every panel is different.
The panels might be, but have a look at the rear door and the way the glass meets the C-pillar and you can tell it's a Rio.
Which is fine, of course, because I think the Stonic looks really good in GT-Line form, with the bigger wheels, some well-judged cladding and some nice sculpting on the body.
If you plump for the two-tone paint job (which I think looks great), you will go without the sunroof. Also the sun-safe option, but I know some are fans of a hole in the roof.
The cabin is by-the-numbers Kia, which is to say it's well laid-out and looks good, but won't be troubling a beret-sporting art critic for superlatives.
Unlike the exterior, it's straight out of the Rio, which does have its downsides, which we'll discuss further.
Formerly known as the Captiva 7, the seven seat body has remained mostly the same for its 11 years on sale. The only real changes have been around the front end, with Holden several times fiddling with the grille, lights and bumpers. There's nothing flash about the Captiva, but you know exactly what it is coming at you, with the double grille and big Holden badge.
In profile there's a lot of the original BMW X5 if you squint, right down to the copyright lawyer-dodging shape of the rear quarter window. It also has that X5's big gaps between wheelarch and tyres and a good view of the wheelarch itself. If that's your thing.
Little has changed at the back apart from bumpers and the LED effect lights added in the last update in 2014. It's unlikely you're buying the Captiva as auto haute couture, though.
Inside is basic, and you can place the Captiva's genesis in the mid-2000s, there's a certain generic GM feel to it. The switchgear feels old and clacky, the plastics are hard but do fit well enough. An Audi interior it isn't. The update in 2014 to make the 7.0-inch screen fit in the dashboard is fairly obvious and it's a shame the whole dash couldn't have been replaced. The huge steering wheel surrounds a tightly packed instrument cluster with small dials and a very old-looking LCD panel for trip computer duties.
For a car this size, it's reasonably roomy. I can sit behind my driving position in the rear seat and while violin playing is off the agenda, it's not claustrophobic.
Front seat passengers have plenty of storage to play with, including a split storage box underneath the console for phone and wallet-chucking.
You also get two cupholders, even with the space-robbing conventional handbrake (I like a standard handbrake, though, so I didn't mind too much).
Each front door has a pocket for a decent-sized bottle, but not so rears. And your back seat passengers won't have an armrest or cupholders, either.
Boot space is an impressive 352 litres (VDA) with the seats up and 1155 litres with the seats down, although you don't get a flat floor with the seats folded and you do have a drop to the boot floor over the loading lip. Nothing terrifying, but the more you know...
The Captiva's interior dimensions are impressive. In seven seat versions, the boot space starts at 87 litres, expanding to a handy 465 litres with the 50/50 split fold rear row stowed. Flop the middle row forward and you're up at 930 litres, a good size cargo area that could swallow a flat-pack wardrobe. If you snaffle a five-seat version, you can remove the boot floor panels to reveal another couple of hundred litres of hidey holes.
There are cup holders up front (two), in the middle row (two) and in the boot (one, strangely) for a total of five. In the seven seater, two will go thirsty.
The GT-Line tops a three-spec range, starting with the base model S manual at $22,990 drive-away (add another grand for the auto).
Then it's $24,990 drive-away for the Sport (plus $1000 for the auto) and $29,990 drive-away for the GT-Line, which is auto-only and has a turbo engine.
That's some pretty fancy footwork with the spreadsheets (which I know isn't a thing, imagine how dirty the keyboard would be).
If you've bought a GT-Line, your kebab short of thirty grand gets you 17-inch alloys, a six-speaker stereo, climate control, a reversing camera, keyless entry and start, rear parking sensors, cruise control, sat nav, auto LED headlights with auto high beam, auto wipers, fake leather bits and pieces, powered and heated folding mirrors, a sunroof and a space-saver spare.
The larger 8.0-inch media screen hosts Kia's updated and very excellent software, with its cool and subtle graphics, fast hardware and, as expected, Apple CarPlay and Android Auto.
The speakers are a bit tinny, but as long as you don't turn them up too much, you'll be fine. Handily, CarPlay is wireless and you can have two phones connected at once to the Bluetooth system. Try that in a Ferrari.
The Captiva's value is heavily dependent on the model you choose. Standard features across the range (starting with the LS) include a 7.0-inch touchscreen running MyLink, a six-speaker stereo with AM/FM radio, Bluetooth, cruise control, rear parking sensors, reversing camera, auto headlights, leather steering wheel, dual-zone climate control, three 12 volt power outlets, keyless entry and start and a tyre inflation kit in place of an (optional) spare tyre.
No Captiva comes standard with sat nav as they all feature Apple CarPlay or Android Auto, which both use your phone's GPS apps.
There are four models, three 'standard' specifications - LS, LT, and the top of the range LTZ, with a fourth version in the form of the five seat only Active 'special' edition, that isn't.
Pricing starts at $26,490 for the 2.4-litre LS (with five seats and five-speed manual gearbox), $28,690 for the auto, and the diesel comes in at $31,690. Seven-seat LS pricing ranges from $30,490 for the petrol and $33,490 for the diesel, both six-speed automatics.
The Active enters the price list at $31,990 drive away. Based on the five-seat petrol LS (to be discontinued in May 2017), the auto-only Active adds 18-inch alloys, textile leather seats and a cargo cover. There's also a similarly specified seven seat version at $33,490.
On to the LT, and the price rises to $37,490 for the petrol and $38,490 for the diesel, both of them seven seaters. Part of the big jump for the LT is explained by the petrol engine switching to Holden's 190kW 3.0-litre V6 and the addition of all-wheel drive (AWD). The LT picks up a sunroof, bigger alloys, side steps, cloth trim with "Sportec" bolsters on the front seats and powered heated mirrors.
The LTZ's pricing is a mixed bag. Ordinarily, the V6-powered version would attract an rrp (carmakers insist we call it MLP, manufacturer's list price) of $40,490, with the diesel adding a thousand dollars to weigh in at $41,490. However, Holden is running a long promotion offering the LTZ V6 at $35,990 drive away with three years of free servicing.
The LTZ has 19-inch wheels, leather-look trim, electric driver's seat and front parking sensors.
You can choose one of seven colours - black, white, red, silver, blue, brown and grey and all but white will cost you $550. Orange is no longer on the menu, no matter how much you want it to be 2007 again.
The GT-Line is the only one of the three in the range to score Kia's rorty 1.0-litre, three-cylinder turbo, good for 74kW and 172Nm to haul its 1200kg weight.
A seven-speed dual-clutch transmission drives the front wheels and you'll hit 100km/h in about 10 seconds.
If you like a choice of engine size, you've come to the right place. The Captiva has three engine specs in the range - two petrols and a diesel.
The smaller petrol, a 2.4-litre four-cylinder, produces 123kW at 5600rpm and 230Nm at 4600rpm. Driving the front wheels, this motor is available with choice of gearbox, either a six-speed manual or six-speed automatic. This 2.4 is only available on the LS and Active.
The 24-valve 3.0 SIDI V6 is available on LT and LTZ and produces 190kW at 6900rpm and 288Nm at 5800rpm.
The single diesel is a 2.2-litre iron block with common rail direct-injection and makes 135kW at 3800rpm and a stout 400Nm within a very usable range of 1750-2750rpm. You can have the oil burner in all three trim levels, driving the front wheels in the LS and four-wheel drive in the LT and LTZ.
Both the V6 and diesel are available only with the six-speed automatic transmission.
Unlike earlier Captiva models, none of these engines feature a timing belt. Those early engines suffered from issues related to the fabric belt while problems with the later timing chain driven engines are less common. Reliability of the V6 is well-proven in the Commodore while later four cylinders also perform well.
Zero to 100km/h performance varies between the engines. The 2.4 will reach 100km/h in around 10.5 seconds while the V6 is rather quicker at 8.6. The diesel falls right in the middle at 9.6 seconds.
We've not yet carried out a towing review, but according to Holden, towing capacity is rated at 750kg for unbraked trailers and 2000kg braked.
Kia's government-mandated fuel economy testing yielded an official combined-cycle figure of 5.4L/100km.
As I have found over the years with this engine, that's a fairly optimistic number, my week with the Stonic delivering 8.4L/100km in an almost even mix of highway and suburban running.
The Stonic has that rarest of things in a Korean car - stop-start, which helps rein in fuel usage around town. Happily, you'll be filling the 45 litre tank with standard unleaded.
If you're after good fuel economy, the Captiva probably isn't the car for you.
The 2.4-litre petrol is quoted at 9.7L/100km on the combined cycle but, as we recently discovered, is more likely to return closer to 12.5L/100km.
Diesel fuel consumption on the official combined cycle is listed at 8.5L/100km but our most recent test yielded a slightly startling figure of 12.9L/100km. The diesel's performance, particularly in the gears, is better than either petrol but it appears you'll pay for it.
The big banger V6's official fuel consumption figure is listed at 10.7L/100km, but past CarsGuide reviews suggest 14.0L/100km is a more likely real world figure. As far as fuel economy goes, diesel vs petrol usually falls to the diesel, but not in this case.
Fuel tank capacity is identical across the range at 65 litres.
I must admit to being slightly puzzled by the Stonic. I've already driven the Rio GT-Line and there is one thing that is the same between the two cars and that's the seven-speed dual clutch's awkward behaviour in traffic.
The car I had was not at all keen to respond to the movement of my right foot on the accelerator, with my wife and I developing an in-joke about having to make a verbal suggestion about which gear to choose.
It also rolled back more than I'd like on slopes when starting from a standstill.
The other things I didn't like were the front seats. Straight out of the Rio, they are wide but not very supportive on longer trips, such as the one we took up into the Blue Mountains (a roughly 250km round trip from our home in Sydney).
Complaints about the seats are certainly mine, but I checked in with colleague Richard Berry, who didn't have the same hesitant transmission struggle, so it could just have been a drama with the car I drove.
The rest of the Stonic experience is really good. The 1.0-litre turbo is definitely the one to go for if you can stretch to it. The numbers don't seem big, but it's got decent punch in the gears and cheerfully climbed the Blue Mountains quietly and without hunting up and down the gears.
Around the city it also means it's easy to thread through the traffic, with good response from low revs when the transmission is playing well.
The steering is really nice, too, with just the right weight and speed to make city-wrangling easy. The extra ride height and softer suspension also make for a very comfortable ride around town without taking away from the body control. In fact, it's quite a bit of fun.
You sit on the Captiva rather than in it, a feeling encouraged by the flat, shapeless seats. It doesn't matter which Captiva you choose, the front seats are not exactly huggy but they'll certainly take people of all shapes and sizes.
You twist a funny knob where the key barrel used to be to start the engine. The view out front and out the sides is commanding as there is a fair bit of glass all around, with just the view out the rear window restricted as it's quite small. If you've got passengers, forget it, but the reversing camera will save the day there.
The ride is, for the most part, reasonable, but will deteriorate along with the road surface. The suspension isn't very quiet and the overall firm feeling delivers passable handling, which you'd expect from a big heavy machine like this. It doesn't have anything like the finesse of much younger metal from Hyundai, Kia and Mazda.
The diesel specs suggest strong performance and that's exactly what you get. It's by far the torquiest of the three engines and shifts the Captiva's two tonnes with reasonable verve. It's a noisy, grumbly unit but works well with the six-speed auto.
The engine specs of the two petrols don't really tell the story. While the V6 is quicker in a straight line, its extra weight knocks the shine off the torque increase and the engine itself isn't a shining example of modern engine tech. Actually, neither of them are, missing out on stop-start and other goodies.
This isn't an off-road review, but moderately ambitious mud-plugging is doable in the AWD models, with a ground clearance of 200mm but no low range or off-road mode. We even checked the manual to make doubly sure there wasn't a diff lock button hidden somewhere.
As ever, the idea here is that when you're buying a Captiva you're buying a lot of space and a cheap ownership experience.
In a typical ANCAP quirk, the GT-Line does not (yet) have a safety rating where the S and Sport carry the Rio's five star assessment from 2017. When the rules weren't as tough as they are today.
The GT-Line, as with the rest of the range, scores six airbags, ABS, stability and traction controls and a reversing camera.
The forward AEB works with other cars between five and 180km/h while pedestrians and cyclist detection works between five and 85km/h. You also get lane keep assist and lane following assist.
The kids are looked after with three top-tether anchors and two ISOFIX points.
The Captiva carries six airbags, ABS, traction and stability controls, hill descent control, brake force distribution, active rollover protection, brake assist and three ISOFIX points, in addition to the reversing camera and rear parking sensors.
The Captiva's maximum five star ANCAP safety rating was awarded in November 2011.
Kia offers a seven-year/unlimited kilometre warranty, which is only shaded by Mitsubishi's caveat-filled, 10-year/200,000km warranty.
The Stonic demands a return to the dealer ever 12 months or 10,000km, which is kind of irritating as the non-turbo models are 12 months/15,000km.
As ever, Kia offers a capped-price servicing regime but the numbers aren't yet available on the website (yet).
Lucky for you, we've got them. Prices bounce around a bit and are as low as $283 and as high as $704 with the first seven years/seven services costing $3299, averaging out at $471 per visit.
Over the five years, it's $260 more than the 1.4-litre but you're servicing more often if you drive more than 10,000km per year.
As with all new Holdens, the Captiva owner benefits from a three year/100,00km warranty and lifetime capped price servicing. All prices are available on Holden's website.
Service costs for the diesel are significantly higher than the either of petrols, but do include oil changes.
The standard package also includes a year of roadside assist.
For common faults and complaints, check out our Holden Captiva problems page, which covers known automatic transmission problems, engine problems and diesel problems. There aren't any widespread diesel engine problems with the later version.
Resale value is often a consideration and we've looked at the last major update, released in 2014.
A seven seat Series II LS from 2014 - the second major update for the Captiva after the 2011 update addressed lingering problems - cost $30,490 when new and will trade at around $13000-$15000, below fifty per cent of the purchase price, with private sales a little higher.
An LTZ diesel from the same period sold for $41,490 and trades in the 45 to 50 per cent of purchase price and a little over 50 per cent in private sales.