Value for cylinders: The cheapest V12s you can buy right now

V12s represent something. They’re silly, overdesigned, unnecessary. It’s all just automotive indulgence for people who like big numbers, but probably not working on their own car.

Thanks to the endless march of time though, they’re becoming extinct very quickly. Even the poor V10 is just barely holding out in the Volkswagen Group stables. 

Thanks to that very same march of time though, you can now get your hands on one for a relatively decent price. To find out how decent, we took a stroll through our classifieds.

Jaguar XJSC H.E. (1985)

Was: $78,304 ($217,694 adjusted for today’s value)
Now: $17,500

Not too long ago it seemed as though the Jaguar XJS bottomed out in value. You could pick ‘em up for $5 - $10 grand easy. Nobody wanted them, knowing full well that if they weren’t on their way out, they would be soon, and who wants to foot the bill for a car that’ll likely be sitting in a mechanics somewhere for 6 months of the year. Lately though, prices have been picking up as the more pristine examples like this one get more rare. It’s even had the woodwork redone in California!

Be prepared for the three-speed auto, oil-tanker-esque fuel consumption and a not-so-impressive 198kW making the 0-100km/h time a leisurely 8.5 sec.

See all Jaguar XJS V12 listings

Mercedes-Benz S600 L (2001)

Was: $325,700 ($475,947 adjusted for today’s value)
Now: $34,950

Smooth as silk. That’ll be the experience in the once-flagship S600 L. You’ll barely notice all the cylinders trundle away as you're surrounded by deep leather, wood and a slush-o-matic auto. Passengers will love the presidential treatment, and you’ll love being able to move two-tonnes of plush mass from 0-100km/h in just six seconds. Power is up around 270kW.

Just try to imagine there’s no regret waiting for you at every fuel pump.

See all Mercedes-Benz S600 V12 listings

Aston Martin DB7 Vantage Volante (2002)

Was: $345,000 ($489,554 adjusted for today’s value)
Now: $70,000

The ad says these cars were originally sold for $400k, which is probably true after you add drive-away costs to the $345k list price. Even though it looks like just a shadow of the DB9 which would soon replace it, the closest DB9 to this car is still $90k, so If you can look past the fact that it’s mostly a Jaguar, it’s kind of good value.

It’s also the most fun car on this list by quite a measure, with the 5.9-litre V12 putting out a walloping 309kW. That'll get you sprinting to 100km/h in 4.9 seconds.

See all DB7 V12 listings

Jaguar E-Type Series 3 (1972)

Was: $11,410 ($113,115 adjusted for today’s value)
Now: $79,990

As far as finding a clean E-Type goes, this is pretty much on the money. Deceased estate? Tick. Under 100,000km? Tick. Someone has already gone to the effort to convert it to a much tighter Toyota Supra Gearbox? Tick (so long as you’re not a purist). What’s not to like? Maybe the price. Which, at about $80k is getting dear.

Thanks to a Le Mans-derived engine producing 187kW and the E-Type’s excellent aerodynamic design, it could still hold its own against some of the newer vehicles on this list with a 0-100km/h time of only 6.8 sec.

See all Jaguar E-Type V12 listings

Bentley Continental Flying Spur (2006)

Was: $358,000 ($454,000 adjusted for today's value)
Now: $86,950

Mercedes V12 not exclusive or modern enough? For almost three times the money you can have a relatively new Bentley (that's actually a W12, not a V). Sure, it’s really just a very expensive Volkswagen, but the roof is leather so shove that up your pfeife and smoke it, Benz.

This one comes in a questionable colour scheme, but the agreeable 411kW from the monstrous 6.0-litre twin-turbo W12 will likely make you re-evaluate your understanding of physics as it shifts a 2.5 tonne hotel room to 100km/h in just 5.2 seconds. Don’t worry though, if that doesn’t manage to kill you, the first service will.

See all Bentley Continental Flying Spur W12 listings

Which of these 12-tumbler serving boards would you drink from? Tell us about it in the comments.