Touareg tows a 747

The Advertising Standards Council gets plenty of complaints about car ads inciting irresponsible behaviour, circles in paddocks, running around town naked. That sort of thing.

So could it please ask Volkswagen to cancel the television ad where its V10 Touareg SUV tows a 155-tonne Boeing 747?

It's giving our grey nomads some disturbing ideas. Dangerous tremors of delight among caravanners are recorded every time the ad is on.

With glazed eyes, they're measuring up their bus-sized rigs and finding them wanting, in comparison to the 60m long and similarly wide aircraft.

“If we got one of those VWs, Madge, we could ditch that little 20-metre and tow a reeeeeal caravan,” they're panting, imaginations in overdrive.

Thankfully, they haven't seen the doco that shows the bright spark who thought up the VW stunt has also calculated that the SUV could have pulled an extra 50 tonnes.

And they probably won't be deterred by explaining that to give the Touareg enough starting traction to pull the Boeing, the back of the SUV had to be loaded with 4.5 tonnes of ballast.

Because far from being satisfied with hauling around an inventory of household goods in their vans, the nomads would pack the contents of their garden sheds in the back of their cars. Though we've never worked out whether it's from a compulsion to mow and edge-trim the Great Australian Outback, or simply the need to block out that last pocket of rear window visibility.

Nor will it help to point out that the Touareg pulled the Boeing at just 8km/h, as you'll understand, if you've ever been stuck behind a crawling caravan, with no option but to watch your life trickle away with the traffic.

We get the point, Volkswagen, the Touareg can tow big things. We'll let Qantas know, in case it wants to replace its tarmac fleet. But encouraging this kind of behaviour in grey nomads is simply irresponsible and you have to be stopped.