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Picturing yourself driving a Ferrari is always a pleasant way to waste a few 'when I win Lotto' moments of your life.
It’s fair to assume that most people would imagine themselves in a red one, on a sunny, good-hair day with an almost solar-flare smile on their faces.
The more enthusiastic of us might throw in a race track, like Fiorano, the one pictured here, which surrounds the Ferrari factory at Maranello, and perhaps even specify a famously fabulous model - a 458, a 488, or even an F40.
Imagine the kick in the balls, then, of finally getting to pilot one of these cars and discovering that its badge bears the laziest and most childish name of all - Superfast - and that the public roads you’ll be driving along are covered in snow, ice and a desire to kill you. And it’s snowing, so you can’t see.
It’s a relative kick in the groin, obviously, like being told your Lotto win is only $10 million instead of $15m, but it’s fair to say the prospect of driving the most powerful Ferrari road car ever made (they don’t count La Ferrari, apparently, because it’s a special project) with its mental, 588kW (800hp) V12, was more exciting than the reality.
Memorable, though? Oh yes, as you’d hope a car worth $610,000 would be.
In 15 years as a car reviewer there have been plenty of super luxurious cars and there has been plenty of people moving. But not many super luxurious people movers. Until now. Until the Lexus LM 500h.
This people mover costs a quarter of a million dollars. And if that caught your attention you probably also want to know what that buys you. My family and I found out when we lived with the LM 500h Ultra Luxury for a week.
Clearly, this is not a car for everyone, and you’d have to question whether it’s a car for anyone, really, but people who like spending $610,000 on Ferraris, and waiting in a queue to do so, will be delighted, because it delivers the kind of exclusivity, and bragging rights, that you’d have to hope a car called Superfast would.
Personally, it’s a little too much, a little too over the top and definitely too mad, but if rockets are your thing, you won’t be disappointed.
The Lexus LM 500h is luxurious, comfortable, practical, easy to drive and expensive. While it may appear to be the ultimate family car, with only four seats it's limited in terms of how many kids and their friends you can carry. On top of that, the privacy screen introduces accessibility issues to the kids you wouldn't encounter on other vehicles. If you are thinking of a Lexus people mover as your next family car I'd suggest looking at the LM 350h which has seven seats and no privacy screen. If you’re looking at a business class executive van the LM 500h would be perfect.
It’s very… big, isn’t it? And it looks even bigger in the flesh with a bonnet you could use to put a roof over your tennis court. In all, the Superfast is 4.6m long, almost 2.0m wide and weighs 1.5 tonnes, so it certainly has presence.
Making something this big look good is a challenge even for those as talented as Ferrari’s design team, but they have nailed it. The front has what appears to be a mouth, poised to swallow lesser cars whole like some whale shark Terminator.
The bonnet appears to be flaring its nostrils, and looks fabulous from the driver’s seat, and the swooping side and taut rear complete things nicely.
Personally, it still just looks too big to be a Ferrari, but then this is not a mid-engined super car, it’s a grand touring rocket ship, and the ultimate expression of unnecessary excess, and it pulls off that aura perfectly.
The LM 500h doesn't look real. More like a concept vehicle with its vertical face wearing that enormous grille. Feels like if you watched it for long enough you’d catch it transforming into some kind of robot. Yet, at the same time its styling is elegant and prestigious.
I have a confession to make. I used this Lexus as my office. Its interior is that comfortable and spacious. I'm also a parent and there were times where it was the quietest place to get some work done.
It also let me observe people's reactions as they walked past with their dogs not knowing what was going on inside behind those tinted windows. The people that noticed were clearly car enthusiasts as they knew what they were looking at and couldn't pass without gaping it awe.
The LM 500h’s interior is superbly plush with thick carpets, beautiful copper metallic trim and nappa leather seats.
As I’ve said, the cockpit up front is less luxurious than the extravagant first class section in the back behind that dividing wall.
And yes, I’ve seen large screens before but nothing that stretches the width of the vehicle.
Practicality isn’t really your concern when you buy a two-seat mega car like this, so let’s just say it’s about as practical as you would expect it to be. Not very, then.
You might be able to take Lexus out of Toyota but it's very hard to take Toyota out of Lexus and this particularly applies to the practicality of the LM 500h.
Every day I discovered new compartments, tray tables and storage areas. There are so many cabinets, lockers and hidey holes that we almost left my belongings (an entire family of plushie toy capybaras) behind because there are so many places to check.
Of course, I'm talking about the rear compartment here because up front there's not much storage. In fact, it proved to be quite a problem in that I had nowhere to put my bag with somebody sitting next to me and no area behind the front seats to stow it, either.
Talking of seats, the LM 500h only has four of them, with two up front and two in the rear. Up front, the seats are supportive and large, but the rear seats - those are, well... have a look at the images.
We’re talking two large captain's chairs that look as though they’ve been removed from the first class section of a plane.
And while this might be suitable for businesses shuttling a couple of executives to and from meetings, for a family, even with two children, the extra couple of seats a third row offers would come in handy.
The LM 350h has seven seats over three rows and no privacy screen. A far better choice for families.
For device charging there are USB ports up front and in the rear. There are wireless phone chargers for those in the back seats but not up front.
The LM 500h has a cargo capacity of 752 litres with all seats in place.
Is it possible that any car - save one made from gold, dusted with diamonds and stuffed with truffles - would represent good value at a price of $610,000? It seems unlikely, but then people who can spend that much assay value differently, and would probably say that something as profound as the 812 Superfast is worth buying at any price.
Another way to look at it is price-per-litre, which is less than $100,000, considering you do get 6.5 litres of V12 Ferrari donk. Or you could go by kilowatt, which works out at nearly $1000 each for your 588kW.
Other than that you do get a lot of leather, a high-quality interior, superior exterior styling, badge-snob value that’s hard to put a price on and vast swathes of F1-derived technology. And a free car cover.
The Lexus LM 500h sits at the top of its range and is without a doubt one of the most expensive people movers on Earth with its list price of $220,888.
As you would imagine the standard features list is as extensive as it is extravagant.
For starters, while the regular LM 350h has two rows of seating in the rear (seven seats all up, including the front two), the 500h has the third row removed and just two super luxurious and enormous fully reclining seats fill the entire space. It’s like a theatre back there.
That theatre theme keeps going with a media screen in the back so large it stretches the width of the vehicle. Seriously, it's a 48-inch screen to watch movies or connect to your device.
The sound system is probably the best I’ve experienced - a spine tinglingly incredible 23-speaker Mark Levinson set-up.
What else can I tell you? Those rear seats are upholstered in beautifully soft semi-aniline leather. They’re heated and ventilated with a massaging function and... ridiculously comfortable.
There’s four-zone climate control, windows which have an electronic shade that turns the glass opaque, there are wireless phone chargers in the doors and carpet throughout so thick you sink down into it as you step inside.
Our LM 500h was upholstered in the 'Solis White' leather which also brings contrasting and mesmerising copper metallic trim.
Oh, and there’s a wall with an electric glass screen that can be raised or lowered to separate the rear passengers from the driver.
I should have mentioned this earlier. The kids loved it, but these parents spent a lot of time telling the 10- and three-year old not to put the screen up again.
The rear occupants, aka the kids, can also lock the screen in place. Which they did, and so sound proof is the dividing wall that we can only just hear their uproarious laughter.
Up front, the cockpit is comfortable but it’s clear all the space and luxury is for those being driven around.
Still, the front seats are leather with heating and ventilation, there’s a 14-inch media screen and 12.4-inch digital instrument cluster, plus a head-up display. Sat nav, Apple CarPlay and Android Auto are also standard.
I did want to give the epic, enormous 6.5-litre naturally aspirated V12 engine a perfect 10 here, but when I paused to think about it I had to admit that it is, quite possibly, a little too powerful.
Yes, it is amazing to think Ferrari can build a car that has 588kW (800 horsepower - hence the 812 nomenclature; 800 horses and 12 cylinders) and doesn’t just dig itself a hole in the road as soon as you put your foot down.
And yes, it does provide the kind of performance that makes all other cars seems a bit piss poor and pathetic, even the really good ones.
But honestly, who could ever use it all, or need it all? They might seem like irrelevant questions, I guess, because it’s all about conspicuous over-excess, a car like this, so really the question is, would anyone want to live with 588kW and 718Nm of torque, or is it just too scary in reality?
Well, a little bit, yes, but Ferrari’s engineers have been wise enough not to actually give you all of that power, all the time. Torque is limited in the first three gears, and maximum mental power is actually only available, in theory, at 8500rpm in seventh gear, at which point you’d be approaching its top speed of 340km/h.
The fact that you can rev an engine this big, and this lusciously loud, all the way to 8500rpm is, however, a joy that would never tire.
In more practical terms, you can run 0-100km/h in 2.9 seconds (although cheaper, less crazy cars can do that, too) or 200km/h in 7.9 (which is a tiny bit slower than the far lighter McLaren 720S).
What you can’t do, of course, is achieve any of those numbers on winter tyres, or roads with snow on them.
The LM 500h is a petrol-electric hybrid with a 2.4-litre four-cylinder turbo-petrol engine which makes 202kW/460Nm and works in concert with two electric motors.
The front motor makes 64kW/292Nm and the rear makes 76kW/169Nm. The combined maximum power output of the two motors and the petrol engine is 273kW.
The LM 500h is all wheel-drive and has a six-speed automatic transmission.
Much as you can’t have a good volcano without some serious lava, you can’t have 800 horsepower without burning a lot of dead dinosaur goo. The Superfast has a claimed fuel-economy figure of 14.9L/100km, but on our drive the screen just said "Ha!" and we burned through a whole tank of fuel in less than 300km.
Theoretical emissions are 340g/km of CO2.
Lexus says after a combination of urban and open roads the LM 500h should use 6.6L/100km. In our own testing we found consumption was higher at 9.4L/100km.
Worth noting my driving environment was mainly a hilly suburban one filled with school drop offs. Achieved some personal bests this week, with one long run to Sydney’s outskirts, only to return in nightmarish peak hour traffic.
Premium (95 RON) fuel is required and the tank size is 60 litres. In theory the driving range is a smidge more than 900km, which drops to around 640km using our real-world average.
Insane. It’s a word that people often lift from their lexicon when describing a supercar experience, because clearly, as forms of transport, things like Ferraris and Lamborghinis are not sane options.
But the Superfast really deserves the word, because it feels not only the opposite of sane, but truly bonkers. As if someone built it for a dare, realised it was a bad and possibly dangerous idea, and then put it on sale anyway.
Picture some tiny-handed child with his greasy, post-cheeseburger fingers poised over a big red button on his desk that could wipe out humanity, and that’s basically the situation your right leg finds itself in when driving the Superfast.
There is so much power on tap here - even the limited amount of it that the engineers allow you to access in lower gears - that it truly seems possible you’ll have a Road Runner moment, and simply dig a hole in the ground, if you push the throttle too hard.
Yes, on the one hand, the noises this extreme V12 makes above 5000rpm are memorable and moving, like Satan himself singing Nessun Dorma in a shower of sparks. At one stage we found a long tunnel, perhaps the only dry road within 500km that day, and my colleague forgot all about his licence and let rip.
The numbers on my 'Passenger Screen' spun like poker-machine wheels, then turned red and then implausible. I was shoved back into my seat as if by Thor himself, and I squealed like a small pig, but my co-driver heard nothing over the Monaco tunnel during F1 sound.
Even on dry road, of course, the winter tyres we were forced (by law) to run in the foul snowy conditions could not maintain grip, and we constantly felt the rear skipping sideways. Fortunately we were in Italy, so people simply cheered us on.
The likelihood that you will lose traction in this car is so high that the boffins have included a special feature in its new 'Electronic Power Steering' system called 'Ferrari Power Oversteer'. When you inevitably start going sideways, the steering wheel will apply subtle torque to your hands, 'suggesting' the best way to get the car back in a straight line.
A proud engineer told me that this is basically like having a Ferrari test driver in the car with you, telling you what to do, and that they used their skills to calibrate the system. You can override it, of course, but it sounds scarily like an autonomous-driving precursor to me.
What’s disappointing about this car having EPS at all, rather than a traditional hydraulic system, is that it just doesn’t feel muscular enough for a hairy-handed monster of a car like this.
It is accurate and precise and pointy, of course, and makes driving the Superfast, even in stupidly slippery conditions, almost easy. Almost.
It’s actually surprising how hard you can push a car like this along a windy and wet mountain road without careering off into a muddy field.
More time, and more traction, would have been appreciated, but you can tell it’s the sort of car you’d grow into, and perhaps even feel in control of, after a decade or so together.
So it’s good, yes, and very fast, obviously, but I can’t get past the idea that it’s all a bit unnecessary, and that a 488 GTB is simply, in every single way, a better car.
But as a statement, or a collector’s item, the Ferrari 812 Superfast certainly is one for the history books.
Quite simply, driving the LM 500h is like piloting a limousine on stilts. Superbly comfortable, but with an elevated driving position that offers outstanding forward and side visibility, the LM 500h is an easy vehicle to drive for long periods of time.
A digital rear vision mirror means visibility behind is good and unobstructed by the privacy screen or the seats.
The drawbacks are down to the lack of space up front, with the driver’s chair limited in its ability to recline or slide back due to the bulkhead behind it.
And that's compounded by the lack of cabin storage for bags if the front passenger seat is taken.
As for the rear passengers there aren't many people movers offering this level of comfort, except perhaps the Zeekr 009.
Variable suspension that adjusts continuously keeps the vehicle composed and provides a high level of comfort for those in the rear. At the same time, the LM stays nice and flat through roundabouts while remaining civilised over speed bumps.
And then there's the acceleration, which, while not supercar-like is incredibly brisk for a van. The all-wheel drive system provides outstanding traction in wet and slippery conditions, too.
Our family used the LM daily for everything from school runs to shopping trips and weekends away and not only was it fun to drive, our lucky rear passengers enjoyed sitting high and being able to see clearly out their windows along with the luxury of a giant movie screen.
It might not surprise you to hear that, unlike every other company’s press kits, the Ferrari ones don’t generally include a section on 'safety'. Perhaps because driving something this powerful is inherently unsafe, or possibly because they believe their 'E-Diff 3', 'SCM -E' (magnetorheological suspension control with dual-coil system), 'F1-Traction Control', ESC and so forth will keep you on the road no matter what.
If you do fly off, you’ll have four airbags, and a nose as big as a house forming a crumple zone, to protect you.
The Lexus LM 500h is yet to be tested by ANCAP so it doesn't have a safety assessment score. There is, however, a high level of safety tech onboard including AEB which can detect pedestrians, cyclists, motorcyclists and other vehicles, emergency steering assist, lane keeping assistance, road sign recognition, rear cross-traffic alert, front and rear parking sensors as well as six airbags.
For child seats there are ISOFIX points and top tether anchor mounts on the two rear seats. We have a forward facing child seat and found it easy to install.
A space-saver spare wheel is located under the boot floor.
Once you’ve paid the vast cost of entry, it’s nice to know you will get some stuff for free, like your first seven years of servicing, including all parts and labour, carried out by trained Ferrari technicians, who even dress like pit crew. It’s called 'Genuine Maintenance', and is genuinely Kia-challenging in its scope.
Lexus covers the LM 500h with a five-year, unlimited kilometre warranty.
The Lexus Encore Platinum program is complimentary for LM owners for three years, providing 24-hour roadside assist, a loan vehicle or pick-up/return service at service time, 'On Demand' vehicle evaluation options, valet and airport parking benefits as well as exclusive offers and event opportunities.
Servicing is recommended annually or every 15,000 kilometres, and impressively, pricing is capped at $695 per service over five years.