4WD posers? Top off-road accessory mistakes we see on the road from pointless bullbars to snorkels and more | Opinion

There are off-road vehicles on our roads loaded with 4WD accessories but the reality is that those vehicles may never be driven on terrain any more challenging than the slightly wet grassy carpark at the local soccer field.

You know the blokes I’m talking about: men who like to imagine they’re macho adventurers, who act like they’re God’s gift to driving but actually steer like they’re a drunk mohawker in a Max Max movie.

Yes, the term “all the gear and no idea” was invented as a neat and cutting descriptor of these kinds of blokes.

So, what are some examples of their terrible 4WD accessorising, the very epitome of vehicular-based sin?

Read on.

Bullbar

If you live in suburbia or a city and you rarely head out into rural areas, then a bullbar is pointless.

Sure, it’s a necessity for those who reside in rural areas and even for those who regularly travel through rural areas, because animal strike poses a real and serious risk during outback travel, sometimes with tragic consequences.

If you do drive in country areas a lot, a bullbar is a great idea because animals – cows, kangaroos, camels – are unpredictable and may move onto the road and into the path of an oncoming vehicle with very little to no warning. To protect your family, your vehicle needs robust protection.

Gone are the days when bullbars looked like someone had bolted a pool fence on the front of their 4WD. Bullbars are now strong, well-engineered, airbag- and driver-assist-tech-compatible and can hold lights, UHF radio aerials, and a winch, if need be.

An OEM bullbar or an airbag-compatible bullbar from a reputable aftermarket supplier (ARB, Ironman 4x4 et al) is just the ticket.

Problem is there are plenty of vehicles fitted with a bullbar when in reality those vehicles only ever seem to cruise city and suburban streets, not country roads, and never remote-area locations.

With a bullbar onboard, a vehicle’s dynamics change and the weight of the bullbar increases that vehicle’s fuel consumption and will also have to be taken into account when calculating actual payload.

Snorkel

A snorkel – which looks much like something you'd imagine would be called a snorkel – is simply a way for your vehicle to source air from a higher point (near the top of the windscreen) than its standard air intake, which is generally about top-of-tyre height.

Snorkels can be rear- or forward-facing and are nowadays well-engineered to fit in with the vehicle they are mounted to.

Like a bullbar, a snorkel is a macho fantasy-inspired piece of kit if the vehicle is mostly used as a daily driver in suburban or urban areas, but if you're thinking of regularly taking your AWD/4WD far away from the city limits, then a snorkel may be a sound purchase.

However, a large chunk of vehicles with snorkels have never been anywhere dustier than the dirt track leading into a suburban waste depot, or through any water crossing deeper than an ankle-high puddle in a national park carpark.

Be aware: a snorkel does also cause a bit of wind noise that’s heard inside the cabin, akin to that created by big wing mirrors.

Mud tyres

In an off-roading situation, or in any driving situation really, your choice of tyres – and their pressures – will dictate how easily and safely your vehicle handles any off-road terrain.

Mud Terrain (MT) tyres – big and knobbly and made for getting through mud – are for hardcore 4WDers.

They are noisier on-road than showroom-standard highway tyres and may add to your fuel bills if you're doing a lot of highway travel on them because muddies are bulky, heavier than highway tyres and amount to extra unsprung weight on your vehicle.

More weight and more noise – everything a macho man needs – as well as higher fuel bills.

Awning

A vehicle-mounted awning looks great and provides much-needed and convenient shelter – that’s if you actually ever use it – but it also adds weight and drag to your vehicle. If the awning is mounted to your daily driver then your weekly bills will be worse off for the burden, because an awning can weigh anywhere from 10kg to 40kg.

You also have to factor in the weight of the awning when calculating your onboard payload because the weight will, of course, impact the original figure.

Sure, vehicle awnings are made as lightweight and as streamlined as possible (when not in use), but if you’re only ever opening it and deploying it once a year than it’s really not worth the expense or the hassle.

Vehicle-recovery boards

Maxtrax, or any top-quality vehicle-recovery boards for that matter, are great additions to any off-roader’s toolkit – simple, very handy, and very effective.

However, it’s incredible the sheer number of city- and suburb-based vehicles that have Maxtrax, Tred or other vehicle-recovery tracks seemingly permanently attached to the roof-rack or elsewhere on the exterior in full view of (what the owner assumes is) the adoring public.

The problem is these vehicle-recovery boards likely haven’t budged from their spot for so long that they’ve been bleached white by the sun and are now fused to their mounting points on the vehicle.

Special mention: Winch

Don’t get me started…